Pizza. I love you, but we are breaking up. For good.

Last night was Connor’s school fundraiser Costume Party hosted by Peter Piper Pizza. Our entire family used to LOVE Peter Piper Pizza. The pizza tastes so good and we used to go there just for the food as a family. Well, last night was completely different. Just us going to Peter Piper was a challenge to say the least. We used to eat everything. Wings, bread sticks, pizza, soda, the cinnamon dessert pizza, etc. We loved it. Like LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEDDDD it. Now? Well wow. I personally haven’t had any pizza since this whole diet shift started. The first week of our gluten free life we ordered a gluten free pizza and it was pretty good. We were clueless about these diet changes back then and now we realize that was a horrible idea. Dairy, hello?! Darren has had pizza a few times at work since we changed our lifestyle and he has instantly regretted it. He told me months ago that he would never eat pizza again after how sick it made him. I really didn’t think he was serious until last night.

We start getting ready to leave around 5. We start making a plan for food because let’s face it, there is not one damn thing Chloe can eat at Peter Piper and we know Connor is drooling to get some stupid pizza. So, Darren and I decide to prep our own dinner so we could make it when we got home. Dinner consisted of grilled chicken and rice for us so I got the chicken marinating in olive oil and Braggs marinade then we headed out the door. We stopped at Chick-Fil-A on the way and got Chloe her usual grilled nugget meal combo. Then, we headed over to Peter Piper for the party. Once we get there, Chloe and I went to a table so I could bribe her into eating her food to go play games. She ate all of her nuggets, fries and drank her lemonade by the time the boys got done ordering. We got our tokens and played away. When the food came for Connor, I made a point to keep Chloe at the games so she wouldn’t see the pizza and be sad she couldn’t have any.

This is HARD. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Always.

Why can’t we be normal again?! Why do we have to do this nonsense?! Well this is why. Darren ordered 2 personal pizzas for Connor. One with pepperoni and one with cheese. The boys are eating and I come back to the table to get a diaper. Darren is sitting there eating applesauce, carrots and celery. I almost started laughing. This is so not my husband sitting here at a pizza joint munching on vegetables. Who is this man?! Did aliens take over his body??? I am still a fat kid at heart so I grabbed a slice of cheese pizza. Oops. I didn’t care, I wanted it. I was hungry and I missed pizza. Darren looks at me and says “You’re going to regret that.” Shut up hubby. Don’t tell me what I already know and be right. I am supposed to be right. So I eat this delicious tiny slice of pizza and I am so happy. It tasted like pure heaven and I missed that flavor SOOOOO much. Darren sees the pleasure oozing out of my face and he grabs a slice too. We are so perfect for each other. We both have one tiny slice of a personal pizza, you know, the kiddo size ones. Then we both feel instant guilt. What were we thinking?! We have dinner prepped at home and we can’t even say no to a damn slice of pizza. We have a problem.

We successfully distracted Chloe enough so that the food wasn’t an issue. Plus, she had a full tummy and wasn’t interested in anything but games. That was a relief. We played for a little while longer and came home. I was super glad my guts weren’t upset from the pizza and we came home to make our own dinner. The night went just fine and while we were hanging out after we ate, I noticed Darren going to the cupboard for heart burn pills. Oh no. This poor guy has been doing so good without heartburn! Like I don’t even remember the last time I saw him pop a Tums. Last night he popped about 10 of them.

Dammit. Stupid pizza.

So after Darren got his heartburn under control, we went to bed. I thought I got off scott free from indulging in pizza. I was so happy and was mildly rubbing it in Darren’s face. Then karma got me. I woke up at 3 am thinking my head was about to explode. My sinus pressure was so bad that it woke me up. I haven’t had an ounce of sinus pressure in a really long time and now I was dying. I go out to my kitchen and grab my Breathe Again essential oil and doused myself in it hoping it would help. It did not. Then Darren hears me and asks what’s wrong to which I respond “I hate pizza.” He laughed, I did not. I can not believe that one tiny slice of pizza flared up my sinuses bad enough to wake me up. This huge change in our lifestyle has opened my eyes to so many things and I will be forever grateful for that. I have never felt healthier when I eat well and I have never felt worse when I eat poorly. Simple as that. After last night, I will never eat pizza again. 

I love you pizza, but we are breaking up. For good. Have a nice life. I know you will find someone new who will love you just as much as I did.

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