Going Against the Grains. Literally.

I have always went against the grains. My whole life I haven’t been one to do what other people are doing or even what people expect me to do. I do what I want, when I want, and that drives some people crazy. I don’t care!! I have always been an individual who never quite fully fit in. That’s okay. I don’t need sympathy, I like being different. I never fit into Utah or Idaho standards, I was always an outcast. I never was a good Mormon. My views are completely different. Some people admire me for that, some people judge the living shit out of me for that. Oh well, life goes on…When I met my husband almost a decade ago, one of the first conversations we had was whether we were leaders or followers. I think as an adolescent, you figure this out on your own. We both said we were leaders and that made us have an instant connection. We both have a “I don’t give a shit what you think” attitude and that is what keeps people intrigued.

I believe this is why our new lifestyle is so captivating to so many people. What we are doing with our health changes are completely unpopular and not what “so called society” agrees with. When I go off on a tangent about health and nutrition to people, I get looked at like I am some hippie wearing Birkenstocks with dreadlocks and hairy armpits who lives in a cabin in the woods. Sometimes this bothers me, sometimes it makes me laugh. Whatevs. I don’t need anyone’s approval other than my children’s and they seem to like me.

I have had so many people unfollow or unfriend me throughout this journey and that is interesting to me. I used to be just like everyone else in society not paying attention to the food I consumed or the products I bought. I used to be chubby, full of anxiety, horrific sinus pain, high blood pressure, inflammation, and just basically unhealthy. Now, I am happy, healthy, skinny(er,) and I feel great. The only time I don’t feel good is when I cheat and eat some garbage. I really had no idea that my anxiety, sinus pressure, inflammation, etc. all was rooted from my diet.

I have no reason to make any of this up. This is me. A real person who finally had a life altering situation to wake me the hell up. Now, here I am over 3 months into this and am a changed person. FOR THE BETTER! If someone would’ve told us 6 months ago that we would be living like this, we would’ve laughed in their face. HARD. We loved our weekly Olive Garden trips or our takeout meals. Now, we cook everything from scratch and love every second of it. Eh, mostly. Those damn dishes though…but we now know what a difference proper nutrition does to the human body. I would’ve done this a year ago if I had the proper tools and was ready to make this change. I was so worn out from wondering if Chloe would poop and how horrendous each movement would be. Now, she is going daily and it is easy. No more blood curdling screams and shitting out soda cans. Yes, it was that bad. If you have a kid experiencing this kind of trauma, I beg you to get them tested for food allergies. Kids should not be this constipated. It all roots from diet.

On the plus side, I have had so much support from so many people. Some I know, some are complete strangers who have been down this road and are just willing to help. I have had lots of people tell me that my blog is inspiring to them and their families. When people send me messages and ask for help, I jump for joy! Please don’t hesitate to ask me anything! Honestly, even if it is about poop.  I don’t have all the answers, but I have dedicated the past 3 months of my life to learning as much as I possibly can about health and nutrition. I have read so much and learned so much that I am happy to share my wisdom with anyone. I am no nutritionist or doctor, just another mom doing whatever she can to heal her sick daughter. I have learned that ALL disease starts in the gut. Yes, ALL of them. If you have a leaky gut, your body has a much harder time fighting germs and infections. Plus, if you have to take antibiotics for any infection, this leads to a leakier gut and causing more problems.

I fully believe all of my problems have been caused by this. I mean hello! Ulcers, appendicitis, sinusitis, pancreatitis, and even the lump I found in my left breast back in November. All caused by inflammation in my gut. Damn. I did go see my OB/GYN back in January and had a mammogram which came back fine, but my doctor recommended I take primrose oil to lower the inflammation in my body. That is nice and all, but why don’t doctors suggest to change your crappy diet? Why is it always a pill or prescription? I sure like doctors who take a natural approach and try to get to the root of the issues. These “doctors” look like witch doctors to “society” and people are so skeptical. Chiropractors, Naturopaths, Holistic Doctors, Acupuncturists, etc. People scoff when they hear these words. I did too, but the doctors who prescribe meds they get a kick back off of are the ones we can trust?! Hmmm. Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of people I respect that work in the medical field and I understand that certain meds are necessary, but I personally have never had a normal doctor tell me to change my diet. Not one.

I trust doctors just like everyone else. They save lives and they do what they know best, but not a lot of doctors are even familiar with Celiac or the leaky gut. Only the past 5 years have people started to pay attention to Gastrointestinal issues and how vital of a role they play into our health. Wow, I just heard how hippie like I sound. I feel like such a weirdo, but I feel it is my moral obligation to share what I have learned. I have reached out to friends who had doctors prescribe their kids Miralax, I have stopped people in the grocery store to talk to them, I have reached out to many parents on my support groups, I have shared recipes and bone broth info and so much more. I am a fuckin’ hippie! And I do not care. I am me. Like me or not, you’re still reading.

Gluten Free sucks sometimes

So I have been trying really hard to step outside of my comfort zone and actually leave my house a bit. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, but the thought of “glutening” my daughter frightens me. I know its going to happen, I know it. I am just not prepared or know what the hell to do when it happens!

Last week, I took a big step and went out to dinner with my brother and sister in law. I left Chloe and Connor at my house with my niece Tiffany. We went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Valle Luna and I took my digestive enzymes beforehand to avoid another Jack in the Box experience. (Digestive enzymes are pills for people living a gluten free life like me, but don’t actually have a problem like Celiac) I made sure I fed the kids before we left so all Tiffany had to do was play with them. Simple enough. That small step was HUGE for this mama. We had a great time at dinner and Chloe was just fine. I am not worried about my house at all. I know its gluten free at this point. I have replaced all of my cutting boards, pots and pans, dishes, glassware, and basically my entire kitchen. (That was cheap.) It’s like new people live here and I guess basically we are new people. Our lives have changed so much the past 3 months that we are completely different.

Today and Tuesday were also big steps for me. I volunteered at the school to help the PTO with the book fair. I brought Chloe with me and that was no big deal. The big deal was all of the snacks around. Cupcakes, chocolate, cheez-its, pizza, taco bell, pop tarts, soda, and so much more! I had a really hard time not devouring all of the deliciousness around me, but knew her little eyes were watching me and I am not that cruel. She was so good though! She asked for a piece of chocolate and I politely explained to her that it will hurt her belly and that’s why she can’t have it. I am pretty sure she gets it now though. She never asks twice or throws a fit when she gets told no. She remembers that nightmare of a summer we had. I was smart today and brought her own snacks. Coconut bites, apples, and her sippy cup of almond milk.

I understand that the school, PTO, our families homes, friends homes, etc. are not going to be filled with gluten free options. Hell, 3 months ago you couldn’t find a thing in my house that wasn’t full of gluten!! I get it and I am glad I put us in that situation to see how she handles it. This is just the beginning!

After we made it through these steps, I am starting to worry about her birthday party next month. Every single time I mention it, she tells me that she wants a chocolate cake. Shit. Of course she does! Doesn’t everyone?! Fortunately I live in a big city and there are lots of gluten free bakeries around. Big shout out to Gluten Free Creations for being the rock stars that they are. I called them and explained her other allergies and what she wanted. They took so much time to explain things and talk to me about the options available. Since she can’t have corn or dairy, the only flavor of cake she could have was chocolate. Thank you Jesus! I ordered her a rainbow castle cake and they explained the sprinkles still have high fructose corn syrup so to be sure she didn’t eat a sprinkle. This was so awesome! I had no idea what to do for a cake and was not about to have another nerf gun fiasco, especially for this poor little girl! So, the cake is ordered and the hard part is done. Only cost me $60 for a cake to feed 15 people. So that was fun….not… and since we can’t go anywhere cool like Peter Piper Pizza or any of the normal birthday joints, we have decided to do a small family party at my house. We will make everyone who comes indulge in our gluten free lifestyle. I have no idea what else to do for this girl!

This is when this gluten free lifestyle gets so hard. It is not just about food choices, this has affected every aspect of our lives. I am a hermit now who is scared to show up at the PTO. I have absolutely no social life. If I do manage to escape, it takes weeks of planning. I have no clue when the hubby and I will actually get an entire night to ourselves. We desperately need it, but neither of us are ready or willing to leave this separation anxiety ridden toddler. Everyone keeps telling me how inspiring I am, but they have no idea how much I am struggling with this on a daily basis. Every meal, every plan, every fucking thing. I cry a lot. I am mad a lot. I am so frustrated every single time I make her something and she scoffs at me and yells “Yuck!” I am sad a lot too. My heart breaks for this sweet girl knowing she will always be different. She won’t be able to eat food at birthday parties or enjoy pizza parties at school. She will always know that she can’t have what other people have and that gets to me. Most days I can put on a happy face and pretend I am okay. Today is not one of those days. I am just bummed out.

I think about going to the zoo or the aquarium or even a movie and then I stop and think about the food choices. This is why I am a hermit. I can’t take her to the theater full of popcorn and candy. I can’t take her to Peter Piper to play games. I can’t plan a day of fun activities for her unless I bring a cooler full of food for her to scoff at. Yep. Home it is. I have found that if I don’t let her snack a lot in the day, she will most likely eat the meal I make. So telling a sickly 2 year old no to snacks when I know she is hungry is hard. I know she needs the nutrition and food to grow, but I know she needs the meals more. She loves cauliflower lately so I have been making it a bunch. Last night we had teriyaki chicken wings with roasted cauliflower and carrots soaked in liquid aminos. (Liquid aminos are a healthier version of soy sauce and actually tastes better in my opinion.) Apparently, she decided last night that she doesn’t like cauliflower anymore and spit it out. She would only eat the chicken. So frustrating!! I wanted to pull my hair out. I know we will get through this and a year from now will be a different story, but days like today are hard. And I would kill for pizza. The end.

Darren aka Hubster

So my husband is as much of an open book as I am and he fully agreed to let me talk about all of this. Believe it or not.  

The biggest change I’ve noticed in anyone’s health from this new lifestyle (besides Chloe’s) is Darren’s. I am pretty sure he didn’t even know how desperately bad his own body needed to change.

Let me give you a little background on this poor guy.  Every single day since the day I’ve met him, he has had horrendous heart burn.  Not like the “take-a-tums-and-you’re-good kind of heartburn,” I’m talking heartburn so painful that he would take a Prilosec pill every morning, 7-10 tums daily,  down a giant glass of milk, and still might vomit if he ate something too acidity or spicy. Yep. Every single day. Sometimes he wouldn’t even eat dinner because he was so miserable. I’ve always been worried about the long term side effects from that much antacid use and that for sure has affected him as well. 

Darren has also suffered from severe hemorrhoids. Yep, those mean little bastards that no one likes to talk about. Ick. In high school, I remember sitting in Mr. Buys’ Human Physiology class (Mr. Buys was the absolute most amazing teacher I’ve ever had by the way) and hemorrhoids being mentioned. We all chuckled and he politely reminded us that 1 in 3 people will experience hemorrhoids in their life. I remember praying that would never be me….Thankfully, that was something I never experienced throughout either pregnancy and I feel beyond blessed. However, Darren has had a flare up almost monthly if not weekly for our entire marriage. He uses his fair share of Preparation H as well as cortisone cream to deal. 

On top of the “H” words, Darren has also had a significant amount of gout in his ankles. This gout has been so painful for him and when you combine it with heartburn and a hemorrhoid flare up, that combo is pure misery. 

Believe me, I’ve had to baby him through this for a decade now. Not trying to down play his pain, but man pain is somewhat pathetic compared to the hell women deal with….anyways, that is another topic…

The past few months that we have changed our lifestyle so significantly, ALL of these problems have dissipated. Not just one of them, but ALL of them. Can you imagine how much better he feels?! Because I have witnessed this first hand. I thought my husband was going to be the hardest person to change in my house. This man loves his ice cream, meat and cheese so much, but now he is to the point that he is taking his own lunch to work in a cooler because he hates what fast food does to him. This is the picture he sent me yesterday of his food. 


I made the chicken in the crock pot the day before and shredded it. I made the gluten free brownie the night before as well. The ranch has a shelf life of a week, so he took that with some veggies and fruits. I am beyond thrilled to see these changes in him. He feels better, he looks better and we fight a hell of a lot less. I had no clue that our diet affected our marriage, but it did and now we are so much happier and healthier than we ever have been. 

We would’ve never done this change without the push from Chloe and now we are all so much better off. It’s amazing how much gut health affects the rest of our bodies. Not just kids with Celiac, but full grown adults with real issues too. If you or your kid has ADD, ADHD, Autism, Sensory Processing Disorders, Anxiety, Ezcema, behavior problems, constipation, diarrhea, night terrors, acne, long term antibiotic exposure, or so, so much more…please look into their diet and healing the leaky gut. You will be blown away at the problems a healthy diet can fix. I sure was. 

Ranch Dressing

So I have had a lot of people ask for my ranch dressing recipe, so here it is!

It is paleo, whole 30, dairy free, gluten free, and super delicious!

1/2 tsp chives

1/2 tsp dill, dried

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp onion powder

1 tsp parsley

1/4 cup coconut milk

1/2 cup avocado mayo (I prefer Primal Kitchen brand)

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/4 tsp salt

You combine the dry spices in a separate bowl and mix well. Then, combine the coconut milk and avocado mayo in another bowl. Once the mayo and coconut milk reach ranch consistency, I add the dry spices and mix well.

Let the ranch refrigerate 30 minutes before use.

This ranch will last about a week in the fridge.

 DIY Non-Toxic Carpet Cleaning

So one of my goals to accomplish as soon as school started was to clean my extremely dirty carpets. I have put this off all summer and it was time. In the past, I have always paid carpet cleaning companies to do this for me. This time, I was super conscience about the chemicals and wanted to find my own way. My mother in law owns a Rug Doctor, so I called her up and asked to borrow it. I spent a good amount of time on the internet researching safe alternatives to clean my carpet.

This is the best recipe I found:

1 gallon hot water

3/4 cup White Vinegar

2 cups baking soda

9 drops Lemon Essential Oil

THAT IS IT!

I grabbed my bag of baking soda and sprinkled it over the entire carpet as well as the super bad stains. I put a large amount of baking soda on these spots then a splash of vinegar to get the stain fighting power activated. This will make the spot bubble and kids love to watch it.

After I made the solution, (do not put baking soda in it, this is for the pretreatment only) I put the liquid mixture into the rug doctor and it smelled amazing. I was worried the amount of vinegar would take over the aroma, but it did not. It smelled fresh, clean, and more importantly non-toxic! I really should’ve taken a before picture, but I was too embarrassed by how dirty my carpets were. So, here is the water that was left behind and here is the newly cleaned carpets.



This solution worked wonders and I now feel comfortable for my kids to wrestle and roll around.

 

Plastic Cancer

Gosh, I just realized it has been almost a week since I have updated and I know some of you are getting worried! No seriously, we are good, I have honestly needed a few days of getting back to our routine and to decompress. Having a minute of downtime has been really good for me and my sanity. I have had time to make new goals, read new books, listen to podcasts, and take care of business stuff that I have been putting off. I still need to spend like an entire day organizing and filing things in the office, but I will get there. I have focused way more on Chloe’s health and I need to find a balance with all of this.

This past week I have really worked on cooking more stuff from scratch. We have made our own barbecue sauce, ranch dressing, another round of bone broth, and I have been meal prepping like a mad woman.

I had a little extra dough, so I got on Amazon and ordered some new things. Stainless steel mixing bowls, glass bottles with lids for the kids to drink from, stainless steel utensils, a new wok, and new dishes to name a few. After I replaced all of my plastic dishes with stainless steel and glass, I went to cutting boards, soaps, detergents, carpet cleaners, water bottles, and anything else that I have researched that creates cancer and toxic environments. I know my kids are going to break things like crazy because my house is like 80% tile, but that’s okay. I will learn to get over it. Broken glass is better than chemo!

I am sure some of you are thinking I have lost my mind, but once your body develops an autoimmune disease, your chances to develop another autoimmune disease or even cancer greatly increase. My daughter isn’t even 3 and now I have to change everything to help her. I am okay with that. I have put in the time and research and want to do whatever I can to be the best mom to her.

Darren got home from work early yesterday so I took advantage of some alone time and went to Sprouts, the bank, and then Walmart. While I was at Walmart I had the most eye opening experience of my life. I walked around that place with a new set of eyes. I was 100% disgusted. I had the hardest time trying to find anything organic or healthy.

I was in the deodorant aisle trying to pick a new one for Darren (I personally buy the weird hippie shit, he will be there soon enough.) Anyways, I overheard a lady in distress while looking for a shampoo. She says “What do I even look for?! My kid is allergic to everything.” At this point, I felt obligated to stop and talk to her. I told her my kid was allergic to everything too and what could I do to help. She told me that she just left the doctor’s office and found out her daughter was allergic to all perfumes and she was trying to find a shampoo without perfume…..at Walmart. Yikes. So I sat there with this random lady at Walmart and read labels with her. She was so stressed, I wanted to hug her. I know how hard that day is. I cried the whole way home from the doctor when I found out Chloe’s diagnosis. We were discouraged to find only ONE brand that was non-toxic, no dye, and no perfume. I handed it to her and told her to try this one. It was in a clear bottle, nothing fancy on the label, and a clear liquid. She looked at me kind of funny and said “THIS ONE?! It has no color.” Ummm….well yeah! It’s not bright green and fun, but its not full of toxic shit like the rest of them! She gladly accepted the shampoo and we parted ways. It honestly made my day to be able to help someone else going through a tough time. I guess it was my way of paying it forward from all the amazing people who have helped me.

So, then I headed to the produce hoping to find some apples because Sprouts didn’t have the type my family likes. This section was a joke. There are so many beautifully bright fruits and veggies, but I had the hardest time finding one single bag of organic apples. Plus the organic apples looked like shit. Small, wrinkly, and just not appealing at all. This is why this trip was so eye opening to me. Everything bright and colorful was bad for you! Everything appealing to your eye is made to do so. Consumers are buying into what the companies want and it’s frightening. I left Walmart with like 6 things. I can not buy hardly anything there anymore.

Darren has been so amazing throughout all of this madness. He came home from work the other day to me and garbage bags full of plastic. He didn’t say much, but just kindly asked wtf I was doing…then I had to explain to him why plastic was bad and why I was getting rid of it all. He shrugged his shoulders and started helping. This is one of the million reasons I love this man so much. He just shrugs his shoulders and deals with my crazy antics. Last night I told him that I ordered lead paint tests to test the levels in our home. Our house was built in 1971 when they still used lead paint and I have read the symptoms of lead exposure….which are pain in abdomen and joints, pail skin, constipation, learning disability or slow growth, fatigue, loss of appetite, etc. All of these symptoms brought concern to me even though I know her health is improving. So, I will do the lead tests and see what that brings up. I am a bit nervous. I can only imagine what I will discover.

Every day is a new battle, every day is a new lesson, but every day I am taking it as a learning opportunity to develop strength and wisdom about health. Thank you for coming along for the ride!

Expectations

Yesterday was the best day ever. No day could have been worse than Monday so it had to be great. Seriously, that was the worst case of Mondays. Ever. I don’t know how we survived! I woke up yesterday morning with absolutely no expectations. If I have learned anything in my 33 years of life, it is that expectations are a total bummer. Do not expect shit from anyone or anything, it will only leave you disappointed.

Yesterday Darren had the day off due to a last minute cancellation. We got Connor to school and by 9 am the water heater part was delivered! Yahoo!! We called the plumber and got in the schedule. I still did not have any expectations. I planned on the part not working and another 6 days without hot water, I was not about to jinx myself on this one.

I was craving hot water so bad yesterday morning that I got in the hot tub for a bit just to remember what hot water felt like. It was amazing. Then, I got out and started a migraine so I went and laid down. I actually got a 2 hour nap in!!! I was beyond thrilled! Darren hung out with Chloe while I got to sleep! How about that for a great day?! Then, I even started a Netflix show! Having no expectations made yesterday go as smooth peanut butter. The plumber showed up at 4 and we had hot water by dinner time. I immediately started dishes and laundry. You really take for granted things as simple as hot water until you don’t have it. Funny how life works like that. I used to be so spoiled and now I appreciate (worship) the simplest things like good health, healthy food, and hot water.

Today after I got Connor off to school and Darren off to work, Chloe and I cleaned my disaster of a house. I gave Chloe a duster and I cranked up Pandora while we danced and cleaned the day away. I always feel so much less stressed when my house is spotlessly clean. I can’t even remember the last time it was this clean. Maybe like March? Seriously, it was desperately needed.

Now, I am sitting in the office, paying bills, answering emails and getting back to what I consider a normal day. I had no idea when I started this blog that I would be documenting the hardest months of my life. I had no idea that this crazy gluten free life of ours would create so much attention. And I am okay with it. I am glad I can bring awareness to people if nothing else. I have nothing to gain from this but helping others. My life has changed so much the past few months that things will never be the same. I have gained so much and lost a lot. When you go through trials, you really see who is there for you and who is there to watch you fall. It is quite eye opening. Watch out for the people who secretly want you to fail. Then, prove them wrong. Nothing in life is more satisfying than proving your haters wrong.

I will never be the same person after these life altering experiences. I am a better person from all of my challenges. I am a better mother from all of my challenges. But most of all, I am a better Torrie from all of my challenges.

At this point in our journey, I feel like we have got the food thing down. As long as Darren is here to help me experiment with a new recipe, I do it. Last night we made buffalo chicken in spaghetti squash with a side of cauliflower. The day before we had rotisserie chicken with broccoli and cauliflower. Tonight we are having teriyaki meatballs with rainbow carrots and asparagus. Tomorrow we are having turkey spaghetti in spaghetti squash. Friday we are having Fajita bowls and then I will have to grocery shop. Only having to cook one big meal since school is in back in session is a life saver! I needed this break in cooking so badly! I have found that meal prepping is the best thing ever. It helps me stick to a budget and it helps me stay on track. I also try and make extra food for dinner so Chloe and I have it for lunch the following day. This saves us time and money!

We got this. Just another bump in the road of life. Every day is a new battle and every day we somehow conquer it. I amaze myself at times. I have no idea how I am still sane. Scratch that. Somewhat sane? Who knows! All I know is that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Whatever battle you got going on, know you got this.

 

Back to School…Back to Hell.

I write this post today on a verge of a nervous breakdown. I have no idea why life continues to beat me to a bloody pulp. Today was supposed to be the day that I got to watch Netflix and chill. HAHAHAHAHA why do I even try to relax?! I should never have expectations for anything other than a shit storm of crazy.

I woke up at 6:45 this morning to start boiling water for Connor’s bath before his first day of Second Grade. We got him ready to go and out the door on time. Halle-fuckin-lujah! I thought I was going to have a chill day after I got him sent off. That was a cute thought!

I get a phone call from Darren telling me that I needed to bring him another truck because he was pulled over by Department of Transportation and they wouldn’t let him leave. Greeeeaaaaat.

Let me just say, I have no idea what we would do without Darren’s family.

These people continue to amaze me with their support for each other. I have never witnessed a family that has each other’s backs so much. 

So, after I get off the phone with Darren, I call his sister Bobi to see if she could come over and watch Chloe while I go rescue Darren and have her possibly get Connor from his first day of school because I had no clue how long this would take. I was so afraid to leave Chloe! Oh no! Not because of gluten filled food today, but because she fell off of a bar stool and landed right on her head. Holy fuckin’ shit! This was one of those parenting experiences where your heart sinks and your blood pressure rises! I was in the laundry room when it happened so I am not sure how she did it, but I am pretty sure she hit the floor head first. When this happened, I called my mother in law instantly and got her advice. Then, I text my sister in law Candy because I knew her daughters have had multiple concussions and she knew what to do.

They both helped me calm down and told me exactly what to watch for and when (and if) I needed to go to the ER. Yikes.

Luckily, she never exhibited any of the signs of a concussion and she seems to be perfectly fine. Thank you Jesus for doing me a solid on this one. I needed it.

So, after I call Bobi, she drops everything and tells me she is on her way. At this time, Darren calls again and says his brother Paul is on his way to pick up a truck and rescue him. Again, thank you Kidd family!!!! So, Paul shows up with his son Sean about the same time that Bobi shows up with her daughter Breanna. Bobi leaves Breanna with me and Bobi takes Sean to his dentist appointment for Paul. Are you lost yet? Because it gets better! Then, Paul leaves to rescue Darren and Bobi leaves for the dentist. Me, Chloe, and Breanna hang out for a little bit and I take her to her swim tryouts at 3. I get home from dropping her off 3 minutes before Connor gets out of school. Yep. That was fun!

Paul gets to Darren and the guys finish the job smooth sailing. DOT was on a power trip today and completely ruined our day for pure enjoyment. Thanks, fucker.

Now, it is 6 pm and I have yet to even think about a shower. Scratch that. Boiling water bath. The part for the water heater didn’t come today. Of course it didn’t! Why would it? Why would anything go my way??? I am so done with today. Darren will be home soon with a much needed bottle of whiskey and I will pray that tomorrow won’t be half this shitty, but I am just going to plan for another shit storm.

Even with all of this hell going on, I see the silver lining and I am beyond grateful for the Kidd’s. It is very comforting to know that I have the Kidd family for support. I love them so much and I am so thankful for being apart of such an amazing group of people.

Connor had a great first day of school. I was so glad for once he didn’t have to be a part of the crazy. I sent him with a Lunchable today and he came home with horrible diarrhea. I tried to explain to him that it was his food, but he just wanted it so bad. Pretty soon we will be packing him healthy, gluten free lunches. I just know it.

Life, stop. Just fucking stop. I really don’t know how much more I can take. I hope I look back at these blog posts in a year or so and remember that we can make it through anything. We always have, we always will. As long as you have good people around you that love you and take care of you, what else do you need?

 

Busy Shizzy

Man life has been chaotic lately! I haven’t updated my blog because I haven’t even had time to think about it! There has been way too much adulting going on. I am sick of it. Life can be so damn hard. I sometimes feel like I am in the middle of a really bad nightmare that I can’t wake up from. I can’t believe how many challenges there are for us right now. I really don’t try to complain this much and I try to see the silver lining, but damn! I need life to do me a solid and win the lottery or something, I don’t know?! All I can say is that I am glad I have my husband. We somehow make this shit show work. There has been so much work with the business and working on Chloe’s health that we are barely keeping our heads above water, but we just keep swimming. That’s all we can do. I’ve been so disorganized and spacey that I am spinning. I can not wait for school to start tomorrow!!! 

Darren put in over 50 hours this past week and I’ve been trying my best to keep up with the daily business tasks and keeping the kids alive. This has been especially difficult because we woke up Thursday morning to no hot water. The water heater that we replaced 2 freakin’ years ago just went out. Greeeeaaaat. So we make the necessary phones calls and finally get a plumber to come out. Friday at 6 pm. The plumber tells us that he has every part with him to fix it except the one we need and it has to be ordered. Greeeaaaat. It will be here Monday sometime. Greeeaaaat.

So here it is, Sunday afternoon and it’s been almost 4 whole days without hot water. As if I needed another fucking challenge to test my cooking skills, sanity, patience, etc. 

The plumber had to shut the gas off to the entire house so I can’t even wash a load of towels in cold water and dry them. Thank goodness I got the back to school clothes taken care of! We can’t even shower. We are back to the old school boiled water on the stove and add it to the bath tub. So much fun! I love pretending I am a pioneer woman! We boil water for baths, we cook everything from scratch, we boil water for dishes, and so on. Basically we are preparing to live off the grid. If we disappear, don’t be surprised if we bought a tiny home and jet. 

Darren had a much needed day off and I love it when we have this day. He’s so busy that he’s rarely here for one full day. It’s heaven. I always make him challenge my cooking skills on these days. I made sloppy joes in baked potatoes for dinner last night and was rather impressed I didn’t need his help. Today I finally got out my new breadmaker and had him guide me through making a loaf of gluten free bread. I’ve had the breadmaker almost a month now, but it’s taken a lot of time finding all of the weird (mostly expensive) ingredients and ordering most of them. Gluten free bread is wild! It’s still cooking, but I will let you know how it turns out. 

Tonight we are having Darren’s parents over for dinner so we are really trying to impress their taste buds with our culinary skills. We are making meatballs with grass fed beef and organic, gluten free spaghetti sauce with brown rice pasta and salad. I have Aleia’s brand Italian bread crumbs for the meatballs and Aleia’s gluten free croutons for the salad. I also made a paleo, dairy free ranch dressing!!!! It is fabulous and super easy! We are so happy to have our best buddy ranch back in the family! I hope they like (love) this meal! 

I’m making chocolate chip cookies and banana ice cream for dessert. This new lifestyle can sure taste good if you put enough effort into it and go back to the basics. I no longer feel guilty for eating anything that I do. 

I will post pictures of our daily dishes on Instagram. Happy Sunday everyone. Enjoy your families today. 💗

Breakfast

I have had so many people ask me about what I am cooking and for the recipes. So, I have decided to post some recipes and pictures of what we are eating.

Breakfast seems to be the easiest meal of the day for me. So many times we end up with chopped fruit, the same chocolate rice cereal(picture posted below,) or scrambled eggs.

Don’t let me fool you, this cereal isn’t actually that healthy, but it is a hell of a lot healthier than anything from General Mills!! Do some research….or even better, do a test for yourself!! Go ahead! Grab a strong magnet, then pour yourself a bowl of whatever crap cereal you choose, and watch the Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Life or Cheerios follow the magnet. It’s quite disturbing. Then imagine what it is doing to your toddler’s intestines. Yikes. We are eating metal. Yes, that’s correct. Metal.

This brand of cereal passed the test at my house and now it’s my go-to breakfast when I don’t want to cook. Plus, my kids love it. Win, win.

Next, I make scrambled eggs a bunch. We are dairy free so I add about 1/3 cup unsweetened almond milk to a 3 egg mixture. This keeps the eggs light and fluffy without a weird taste. I also add a ton of bone broth and collagen to Chloe’s for the additional health benefits. It gives it more of a soup flavor and she loves it. Then, when the eggs are cooked, I add whatever topping I can. I usually add organic ketchup to my kids and salsa to mine. Easy peasy.

Next, I try to have a lot of fresh fruit on hand so we can have a vegan breakfast at any time. The fruit usually consists of bananas, apples, peaches, kiwi, watermelon, cantaloupe, blueberries, strawberries, or anything that is organic I can find at Sprouts or Trader Joe’s. Even Fry’s offers organic fruits and veggies if you look hard enough. They don’t make the good stuff easy to find! It’s quite sad.

That’s it! Eggs, cereal, and fruit mostly! I’m beyond thrilled that school starts next week and I will be cooking so much less. This has been draining to say the least. I feel like a maid and a chef all at once. I can’t wait to start the new Bloodline season and possibly take naps with Chloe. Maybe my expectations are a little high, but I don’t care. That’s my dream.