The most painful day of my life.

On August 12th, 2014 I woke up sicker than a dog. Being pregnant, this was pretty common for me. I did not have easy pregnancies at all. When I was pregnant with Connor, I had every symptom in the book. I barfed every single day for the first 20 weeks. It was pure hell. Then at 34 weeks, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and put on bed rest until he was delivered at 37 weeks. The VERY first day he was considered full term. I was in the hospital at least 3 times a week between weeks 34 and 37 doing numerous non stress tests and checking my urine for protein. Finally, my protein count hit 600. Anything over 300 is considered preeclamptic. I doubled that shit. Kidneys were starting to shut down and it was delivery time. I was so swollen and miserable that I didn’t care-except it was Christmas!! Yes, my first baby was induced on Christmas Day. The pitocin did nothing and after 28 hours of no dilation, it was C-Section time. Connor was born at 9:38 pm on December 26th. After delivery, my preeclampsia did not go away immediately like it should have. I had symptoms for 6 following weeks and was put on blood pressure meds for 3 months. 

This was my EASY pregnancy!!!!

My doctor highly suggested I wait at least 5 years to have another kid if I chose to because my heart needed a long break. Yikes. That scared me, especially because my Aunt Pam died from heart complications 10 days after she gave birth.

So, when I found out I was pregnant with Chloe(completely unplanned,) I was terrified! Connor had just turned 4 so that was a good thing, but I was still terrified I would get preeclampsia again and die. Yes, this was a legit fear. 

Chloe’s pregnancy was a breeze at first. I barfed a lot still, but nothing like the morning sickness with Connor. Second trimester hit and things got weird. Even weirder because you’re supposed to feel good second trimester. I wasn’t barfing, but I was sick.all.the.time. I couldn’t eat anything! No sugar, no broccoli, no greasy food, no pickles, and everything I did eat, made my guts hurt so bad. Like agonizing pain. My birthday hit and Brandee was so mad she couldn’t make me a cake! I didn’t even want it. I remember eating Salt & Vinegar Pringles and drinking Sprite. That’s all I could handle. I talked to my OB about all of this and we both chalked it up as pregnancy problems. 

Third trimester hit and I was feeling better again. The night of August 11th, Darren, Connor and I went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. I had fish tacos and a Sprite. We went home and I ate a bowl of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and went to bed. (Yes, I remember my food from 3 years ago.) 

I woke up at 4 am the next day feeling so off. I puked, I had diarrhea, and I couldn’t even lay on my right side because of the pain. I was in pure agony for 4 hours before I woke Darren up. I knew I had to go to the hospital. I didn’t know if it was baby issues or something else, but I wasn’t about to chance it. Especially after my fears from Connor’s pregnancy. 

Anyways, we load up Connor and take him to Aunt Bobi’s. Her house is on the way to the hospital so this was convenient. The whole time my gut instinct told me it was my appendix. See! Listen to that gut people!! 

We get to the hospital and I walk up to the ER front desk and tell the lady that I’m pretty sure I have an appendicitis. She looks at my 32 week pregnant belly and sends me up to Labor and Delivery. ER folks are terrified of pregnant bitches. 

Darren and I make our way up to L & D to start tests and ultra sounds. After 4 hours of no diagnosis, they send me back down to the ER. Front desk lady should’ve listened to me! She was quite embarassed to see me again. 

So after more ultra sounds and no luck of seeing my appendix(hello! I have a 32 week baby in front of your view!) The ER doctor decided we could do a CT scan or MRI. The doctor told me the risks of radiation with the CT Scan and I didn’t want to hurt my baby, so I opted for the MRI. He then hesitated and said if it wasn’t my appendix, then the insurance company wouldn’t pay…so how much pain was I really in? Yes, the fucker actually asked me that. Sorry doc that I wasn’t being a giant drama queen and freaking out, I was trying to remain calm. I had already had multiple contractions upstairs in L & D and my OB was worried about me. So I was trying to be mellow, plus they’d already given me some morphine. 

So I got bitchy and said order the damn MRI. It is my fucking appendix!! Plus, this is like 3 pm, I had been at the hospital since 8:30 am (with no food) and still no answers. 

By the way, if you’ve never had an MRI, it’s pure hell. Especially if you’re claustrophobic, fat, and 32 weeks pregnant. Just picture that. So I waddle my fat ass into the tube and wait for the commands over the ear phones. The MRI was of my abdomen and whenever they had to take a picture, I had to hold my breath until the beep. Ok, I am like 190 pounds at this point, I am terrified in tight spaces and now I have to hold my breath for an extended period of time over and over again! Agghhhh! 

I’ve never been so relieved to be done with something as I was with the MRI. I get out and I am dripping sweat. The tech was so surprised because the room was freezing. Ha. Don’t underestimate me. 

They gave me the picture of Chloe from this. Pretty cool to see.

She still crosses her legs like this.

After the MRI, I go back to my ER room and wait. It’s like 4:30 pm at this point. Doctor comes back in and tells me that I really do have an appendicitis and that they are waiting to find a surgeon who will actually operate on me. Wait, what? Why don’t you have a surgeon to do this?! Because ER people are scared of pregnant people! They don’t like having two lives at risk. 

So, finally they find a doctor (whose name is Jameson by the way-my favorite whiskey,) and we go into surgery around 7:30 pm. My OB stayed after her last C- Section and assisted in the surgery. I’ve never been so grateful for a doctor. She was my rock throughout all of this. She kept me calm and helped me with the pain and contractions. Darren was not allowed in the surgery room so that sucked. 

I go into the surgery room and get prepped. The anesthesiologist goes over my options with me and we decide to keep me awake. Me going under anesthesia would’ve been really risky for Chloe. So instead, we do a spinal-which is basically an epidural. He misses. 3 fucking times. Finally he gets the needle in and I go numb. They gave me a wonderful cocktail that made me happy as can be. I have no idea what was in it, but I would be addicted if I had access to it. 

This is where it gets wild! I get prepped and the room is FULL of people! I think I counted 15, but I was drugged, so who knows. I am talking surgeons, techs, nurses, anesthesiologist, my OB, and a full on pediatric team there just in case they nicked my uterus and had to deliver Chloe. Gosh, even writing this 3 years later is making me sweat from anxiety. Anyways, here I am, wide awake and getting cut open. I’ve already had a C-Section so I am prepared, but I was not prepared to be in surgery for 2 hours in this room with strangers. This is why I love my OB so much!! She didn’t need to be there, but she stayed. Thank you Dr. Rana, you are a godsend!! She actually stood on a stool and held my uterus out of the way for my surgeon because where my appendix was located, was right by Chloe’s head. Yikes. I didn’t know this until later. 

So, the surgery was a success and they moved me back to Labor and Delivery around 10:30 pm to recover. They gave me magnesium to stop my contractions and a shit ton of antibiotics. The contractions were happening every 4 minutes now and I just had surgery on my guts. Imagine that! I’ve never been in more pain in my entire life. Darren was just in full on shock at this point and didn’t know what to do. This was the worst night of my life. Hands down. Honestly, if I can make it through a day like that, I can make it through anything. 

I was in the hospital for the next 3 days controlling contractions and monitoring this crazy surgery. So.Much.Pain. Imagine an open wound and a baby in there kicking it. Nonstop. It was so painful. 

I was at the worst possible time in my pregnancy to get an appendicitis. If you have one before 26 weeks, you can have a way less invasive surgery….Or if you are past 36 weeks, then they would’ve delivered the baby all at once. So of course this is worst time and most invasive way to fix me. My life works that way. They had to cut through my abdominal muscles diagonally to get in there. I am still having pain and complications from this. Yes, 3 years later, it still hurts. 

I was kind of a celebrity at the hospital for the next few weeks. Everyone knew who I was. 

I managed the next 5 weeks of my pregnancy at home and in a recliner. I watched the entire series of Scandal so that was cool. Darren’s family was amazing and helped so much with Connor. I could not mom at that point. I even hired house cleaners because I was so immobile. I was prescribed Percocet and stuck to one or less every day. I tried so hard not to take them, but my doctor told me the pain was harder on the baby than the meds. I can only imagine what all of this did to Chloe. 

So, I was at my OB every week until I had developed preeclampsia again at week 35. Yep. So then we kept me pregnant for 2 more weeks until I was spilling enough protein to deliver Chloe at 37 weeks on the dot. Another baby born the first official day considered as full term. 

I tied my tubes with Chloe’s C-Section. I am DONE making babies!!!! 

So as I write this and reminisce on where I was 3 years ago, I should’ve known my daughter would develop some sort of an intestinal issue. I think it was inevitable. 

But I am telling you, Chloe and mom are rockstars!! We are going to have one special bond because of all of this! 

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